Is Chivalry Dead?

I ran out to the grocery store to get ketchup. My daughter is going through this new stage and she has to have ketchup on everything. We were eating a school lunch throwback dinner, fish sticks, macaroni and cheese and of course sweet peas.


While my hubby puts the fish sticks in the oven I am supposed to run in and out the grocery store.

supposed to.

but I was hungry and Kroger had the 10 for 10 going so you KNOW I had to peruse a few aisles.
I ended up spending 35.00 and I was only supposed to get ketchup.
I bought brownies, a pint of vanilla ice cream(10 for 10), stouffer's toasted subs (on sale 2 for 5)
Diet Green tea with citrus and diet sierra mist six packs(5 for 12)
ketchup, tarter sauce, honey nut cheerios, turkey bacon bits...
just a bunch of extremely random shyt really.

I shake my head in shame and head for the parking lot, rushing because I know i have spent WAY to long and WAY to much money.

As I approach my car i heard this weird sound.
I slow down and cautiously approach my car.

I don't see anything and just as i feel myself relax a small ball comes flying out from under the car at lighting speed.
I drop my groceries and immediately jump in a defensive stance, keys strategically placed between my fingers so that a blow will really f!ck a ninja up (for the record i carry my keys like this all the time so if and when something jumps off and I ain't got time to go in my purse I'm not completely defenseless).

I hear a hissing and look down to see a small orange and white cat with a f!cked up front paw. He was baring his teeth and hissing at me as if I was the one that f!cked up his paw. I bag back not sure what to do, I didn't want to start nothing with a crippled cat....
When a car pulls up from the opposite direction and parks 2 spots away from my car. the cat runs off and I slowly start picking up my groceries.
I dont look up as the person gets out of the car but from the shadow and stride I knew it was a man.

I dont look up, I mean I can pick my own groceries up, i was just trying to hurry up so I could get in the car and go home.
Quiet as its kept that crippled cat scared the shyt out of me.

So im in my own world when I hear
"Dayum!" Mmm, MMM, MMMMMMMM

"Gal, look at all that wagon, YOU draggin!"

I look up to see an older guy about 55, dressed in a neutral striped linen short set, with orange-brownish Stacey Adams.
He was bald and wearing some old school blu blocker sunglasses.

I ignore him and he goes on to say,
"I shole would like to get your name and number and take you somewhere nice,
show you a good time...."

WTF? Ninja, how you gone ask for a date and NOT offer to pick up not NAN freakin grocery?
and then you old as hell wearing stacey adams and blu blockers?
HEYELL TO THE MUTHA F!CKIN NAW!

I pick up the last of my groceries and get in the car.
I really wanted to run his a$$ over....
but I resisted the urge.

Anyway,
HOW YOU DOIN?