friday foolishness: Are those mints in your mouth or are you just happy to see me?

So sometime in the far, far distant past, I was very innocent and green.
One of my first “real” (one I had actual s.e.x with ) boyfriends took me to a “fun shop”.
I was totally new to s.e.x all together and definitely a lot of the stuff in the shop.
He keep making fun of me while I tried to figure out the how’s and the whys of all the buzzing gadgets and glass objects.
After about 20 minutes of being embarrassed, I found a safe zone.
The area in front of the cashier had lots of “gag gifts”.
Candy labeled as Erection pills, Spanish fly, penis shaped lipsticks, etc.
I decided to purchase a box of mints in a tin that claimed to enhance oral intercourse.
I paid that no never mind because at the time I was young and from the hood and believed that only a “certain” type of girl did “that” type of thing.

I stuck the bag of mints in my purse, proud that I managed to buy something out of the store without dying of embarrassment.

Fast forward about 2 weeks later and I was rushing from the café to a study session.
It was taco night so my breath was not at its best.
I didn’t have time to go back to my dorm for a quick brush and rinse so I searched my bag for some gum and found the mints.
I quickly popped 2 in my mouth.
They were strong as hell, like stronger than altoids.
My eyes started to water and the inside of my nose burned like hell. I then quickly chewed the mints and swallowed.
I kept walking and after a moment the intensity of the mints wore off.

As I walk into the study room, I feel a numb tingling in the back of my throat and my mouth feels a little more “moist” than normal.
I swallow, speak to my fellow study buddies and have a seat.
About 5 minutes later my friend taps me on the shoulder and says,

“girl are you slobbing?”

My hand immediately flies to my mouth and there was indeed drool present.
I try to say something only to realize that my tongue is numb. I swallow quickly and excuse myself.

I pull out the tin of mints and sure enough on the back of the tin are the ingredients, one of which is a numbing agent to assist with
“Deep throat”.

The tin also recommends ½ of a mint at a time.


So now my mouth is extra juicy, my mouth and tongue are numb and have to forcibly remember to swallow so I wont slob all over myself.

And of course you know on the way back to the dorm I ran into about 50 mofos that wanted to stop me and ask me about something.
I just had to point to my throat like I was sick and keep moving.

By the time I got to my dorm room the front of my shirt was wet because in my hurry to get back I kept forgetting to swallow.

Yeah. Nasty.

But for those that have that gag reflex? You might want to get you some of them mints…lol